Bruised But Not Broken: When Derby Love Turns into Bruised Egos and Burnout
Hey derby fam! Let's talk about the elephant in the penalty box.
For over a decade, I've laced up my skates and battled for glory alongside fierce and formidable teammates. And let me tell you, the love for this sport runs deep in my veins. I have invested years of my life, my blood, my sweat, my tears, and my body to this cult sport. Alongside the pride and sense of belonging are, of course, the struggles. I always say that roller derby has given me the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.
What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? It is that very idea that can turn into a ticking time bomb that leaves us feeling broken, scattered, and destroyed.
Let me break it down for you.
We all want to be our best. Maybe even THE best. We dream of those epic jams where we leave the other team in pure disbelief of our awesomeness, or that perfectly timed hit that sends the opposing jammer flying across the track. The adrenaline rush, the roar of the crowd, the sheer dominance – it's… well… intoxicating… addicting even.
But here's the catch: that pursuit of " the best" can distort and morph into a storm that clouds our judgment. Suddenly, every practice feels like a championship bout, every drill a life-or-death scenario. We become obsessed with stats, replaying mistakes on loop, and neglecting to listen to our bodies. *Remember that time you "powered through" a sore knee or stiff shoulder just to prove something? (Yeah, me neither).*
The mental strain can be just as brutal. We juggle work, life, home, and derby. We analyze our team, our strengths, and our weaknesses. We think about derby plays, strategies, rules, and policies until our brains turn to mush. And then… we second-guess ourselves into exhaustion. Even after putting in crazy effort, that nagging voice whispers, "Are you doing enough?" “Are you training hard enough?” “ Are you the weak link holding your team back?”… “Is it you…are you the problem?”
Here’s where I drop the bomb.
In truth, being your best doesn't mean being THE BEST. It means prioritizing your physical AND mental well-being. It means listening to your body when it begs for rest, not pushing through an injury because "toughness" is a badge of honor we sometimes (and more than sometimes) wear a little too proudly. It means fueling your body with the right stuff, not just surviving on coffee and sheer willpower.
Here are some basics to help you navigate these derby struggles:
Shift your focus. Instead of obsessing over being the "best," celebrate progress. Did you finally nail that tricky footwork? Did you block a jammer who normally breezes by you? Do you know what to do and then DID it on the track at the correct time? Those small wins matter!
Embrace the cult team. You may have joined derby for the sport, but you stay because of the team. Roller Derby is a team sport, not a solo act. Trust your teammates, celebrate their strengths, and communicate openly about your workload and concerns. They get it, I promise. They have been there too!
Schedule self-care. Rest is NOT a sign of weakness; it's a training tool. Schedule regular rest days, get enough sleep, and prioritize activities that nourish your soul (I personally recommend a nice hot bath with Epsom salts, hot tea, and a smutty book).
Remember the derby love! Sometimes, we get so caught up in the pressure that we forget the pure joy of the sport. Reconnect with that initial spark that ignited your derby passion. Remember the camaraderie, the badassery, and the unadulterated fun of putting on your skates and tearing up the track. The pride you get when you watch your teammates do something amazing. The pride they get when they see YOUR accomplishments!
We're all on this derby journey together. Be the PIVOT in real life, let's support and lift each other up. Be each other’s biggest fan, celebrate our victories big and small, and remember that sometimes, the best way to be your best… to be all that you can be… is to simply take a deep breath (in through your nose, out through your mouth), tighten your laces, and roll with it.
